It’s Friday, Bitches! Yes, I can use the google translate like a boss.
Why am I all up in Germany’s language today? Because LOVE SUCKS! is now available in German!!! Continue reading
es freitag Hündinnen!!
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Monthly Archives: August 2013
early mornings
I love a sunrise the sets the sky on fire, don’t you? Continue reading
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attitude check!
So, what’s your “Social Attitude?” Click this link, take the test, and find out!
My results:
Radicalism 88.5
Socialism 56.25
Tenderness 50These scores indicate that you are a progressive; this is the political profile one might associate with a university professor. It appears that you are skeptical towards religion, and have a pragmatic attitude towards humanity in general.
Your attitudes towards economics appear neither committedly capitalist nor socialist, and combined with your social attitudes this creates the picture of someone who would generally be described as a political centrist.
To round out the picture you appear to be, political preference aside, a devoted egalitarian with several strong opinions.
I’d say that sums me up quite nicely. Continue reading
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Miscellany
Check out my view from the convertible this morning as I was being chauffeured into town this morning.
That’s right! Sunrise in the front…moon in the back. Kinda cool, huh?
On the drive in, Rader and I were just chatting it up like we always do, and I told him about a friend of mine posting this link to my FB page and telling me that when she read the article she thought of me because “you are one of the most “human” people I know! You’re a great role model for living authentically!” THIS is the biggest compliment I have ever been given and it truly touched me. (and not even in the naughty, below the belt way…which has always been my favorite touching up until now.) I think this is what people sometimes refer to as “feelings.” So foreign, yet so nice…
Anyway, I told Rader this story and he said “You know mom, you may not be ‘funky fresh’ but you don’t front and that’s cool.”
I am now striving to achieve level funky fresh.
In other news, 3 years ago this week, El Jefe and I were planning our first date…which actually took place on September 10, 2010. Check out our very first picture together…
Aw. Aren’t we adorable? Yes. Yes we are.
It’s funny when I think back to those days. I had known El Jefe for 10 years. We had worked together and lived next door to each other…and we had always been friends. He always made me laugh. I was floored when he contacted me. I thought “Is he flirting? No way.” And then… YES WAY. OMG. I was so nervous. I had gone out with a few guys since my separation, but no one I was really into. Mostly they were just young and dumb and full of ego. (AHEM. Yes. Ego.) (or multiple personalities. I wish I was joking…) Anyway, I’ve been feeling nostalgic this week. We are a good fit. We are happy. I am happy. And I am so glad I took a chance and started a new chapter in my life with a man that is so smart and funny and now I can call him ALL MINE. He’s a pretty lucky guy, too, me being so awesome and all…
And his response to that would be:
If you watch Sons of Anarchy…He’s my Opie.
Sure, Jax is the “hot one” but Opie is the one that I want. Big and burly on the outside, soft like a kitteh on the inside. Shhhhh. Don’t tell El Jefe I said that. It sounds like he may have the feelz. He refuses to acknowledge he feels the feelz. 🙂
but he totally does.
Happy Thursday, Bitches! I’m gonna shine bright like a diamond today. Put your shades on!
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SOOOOOUUUUULLLLL TRAAAAAAIIIIIIINNNNN
THIS. IS. AWESOME.
You’re Welcome.
Also hello to my 58 new followers that my last post brought to me! It’s good to know there are other people out there who appreciate and share my journey and struggles with finding my fitness happiness.
BTW, Turbo Fire? It is HARD and it Kicks Ass. I like it.
Happy Humpday, bitches!
Oh, and if you’re on instagram, follow Ottenheimer_Library. Please?
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sorry I’ve been quiet this week
I just haven’t felt like blogging. I’ve been busy with life. Had food poisoning on Monday. Then an allergic reaction to SOMETHING UNKNOWN ( I did NOT swallow a spider in my sleep, STOP SAYING THAT!) on Tuesday and then hair day, then pedicures with Ian, then birthday cupcakes and wine with friends and now…it’s Friday.
So check out the horror that I woke up to in the mirror Tuesday morning:
kiss me again….
Yeah…um, I have luscious lips but….THIS IS OUT OF CONTROL. I did NOT get collagen and El Jefe did not smack me around (even though I never listen and I totally didn’t make him a sandwich) I just woke up with swolled-up lips. And face. I looked horrific. And as you can see, I had a sad all day.
I took 150 mgs of Benadryl throughout the day on Tuesday and finally, after a full day of being comatose, my lips look less like road kill and more like Angelina Jolie…
In fun news, I was told yesterday that my ass looked awesome in the jeans I will now never take off.
I ordered Turbo Fire videos from Beach Body (the same group that does Insanity and P90X). I need to add something to my bootycamp workouts (which are obviously working even though I haven’t lost any weight, see ass comment above for proof). And now to the reason I haven’t lost weight…
I’m eating too few calories…and then I give up and over eat for a few days, then I eat too few calories.
I cannot do that to myself anymore. I have to change my mindset. I have to fuel my body for the amount of exercising I have been doing. I cannot starve my body and not expect it to go into survival mode and refuse to give up its stored up energy. The 80s & 90s diet mentality that was drilled into my head as a kid is wrong. And I have to freaking retrain my brain.
Speaking of...this article... it choked me up. I was that girl. I was the athlete who was happy with her muscles and curves until her coach and her parents made her feel bad about herself. I was PUT on a diet at 13 years old. Who does that to a kid?
There are some things I miss about the 80s, but that is NOT one of them. BTW, I don’t blame my parents, they didn’t know any better. They did what they thought was right by their daughter. But I do blame my coaches and the doctors and my weightloss consultants who wrongly informed the world that a 13 year old curvy and muscular teen was unhealthy and needed to lose weight because of her body shape. Shame on them.
If you don’t click the link read the whole article (which you should because it really is well written and poignant), here is the last 2 paragraphs that really spoke to me.
I am sorry because many of you walked in healthy and walked out with disordered eating, disordered body image, and the feeling that you were a “failure.” None of you ever failed. Ever. I failed you. The weight loss company failed you.Our society is failing you.
Just eat food. Eat real food, be active, and live your life. Forget all the diet and weight loss nonsense. It’s really just that. Nonsense.
Eat real food, be active and live your life.
I’m going to add “and choose happiness” to that line and live it. Be good to yourself, bitches! Have a great weekend.
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things that have made me smile this week.
The idea behind this makes me both happy and sad. Our priorities are so messed up in this country.
SHARK WEEK!
Parenting! You’re doing it right!
and finally, Ian and I had lunch yesterday and he left me a little happy on my desk…
Smile, bitches! It’s Thursday! There’s a lot to be happy about ’round these parts! If you’re not happy yet, just watch this.. If you’re not smiling by the end of this video, you have no soul.
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zzzzzzzzz *snore* zzzzzzz *drool*
I cannot seem to wake up this week. I don’t get it! I’m sleeping well at night. I even refused to take Benadryl last night (which is like taking Ambien for me) so that I wouldn’t have the drugged haze this morning.
And still…here I am, on my 4th cup of coffee…fighting the Sandman to the death.
The Sandman is a wily booger, btw. And he fights dirty. I think the only reason I can’t keep my eyes open is because he somehow managed to slip in weighted ball-bearings into my eyelids. They just keep closing on their own.
Did someone switch the coffee to decaf??? Does someone need to die?
In writing related news…
*record scratch*
Que dramatics.
WHHHHAAAAAAAAT?
Did Mel just say “In writing related news? As in WRITING-writing? As in BOOKS?”
Yes, Mel did just say writing news…but don’t get too excited yet…
I am revamping my very first completed manuscript. Updating it (since it was written in 2003…and has references to “flip” phones and “surveillance TAPES”) and I’m cutting it down a bit and tightening up the writing. (I have grown as a writer since this book. THANKFULLY.) and then…once I think it’s ready, I’ll probably self-pub it for y’all to enjoy.
And you will enjoy it, if I do my job correctly.
So there’s your breaking news, bitches. I’m writing again. Getting back in the saddle. Officially. And I’m ready to rock out with my cock out.
Peace, love, and happy Wednesday! Everyone find a leg and get to humpin’!
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chiggers are the devil’s pets and they should burn.
I will say a scalding hot bath and endless scratching does help ease their torture. As does benadryl and benadryl cream.
I was asleep before 10 last night, thanks to the little pink pills.
Honestly, a sandpaper massage sounds damn near heavenly! I haven’t had chigger bites like this in 20 years! Sure I get the occasional bite on my feet, but from torso-to-toe? No. Not since I was a kid.
People mistakenly believe that chiggers burrow into the skin and stay for days, but that’s not true. They actually inject enzymes into the skin that break down skin cells. The itching begins when the little fuckers have filled up on your skin cells and they leave you to take a nap. I wish it was a dirt nap. but no. Just a plain old nap like your fat uncle Morty who wears sweatpants to lunch on Thanksgiving day.
Anyway, I’m better today. I think the worst is past me. But…now my legs look like I have leprosy. If you see me on the streets in rags, just donate to my calamine lotion funds and walk away. Don’t stare too long at the constellation of scabs. They’ll start to scare you.
Later bitches! I have some scratching to do.
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Scenes from the lake
This weekend was amazing. I can’t remember the last time I felt so relaxed.
Rader and I hung out in the hammock on Saturday. I read, he talked. We had to actually put him on mandatory Quiet Time on the way home last night. Seriously. That kid just yammers on like he’s got something to say. LOL
This Spider is not real. However, you don’t know that when you pass by it. Trust me.
WE’RE ON A BOAT!
Da Godfodda was our water taxi driver. We enjoyed Saturday afternoon on the lake after the rain moved on.
A rare sighting! El Jefe!
It really was a wonderful weekend. I read. FOR PLEASURE, all weekend long. I can’t remember the last time I did that!! Honestly, if it weren’t for the 2 hour drive there…Laura and Mac would never get rid of us. LOL
I did somehow manage to get eaten alive by chiggers on the entire left side of my body. Ugh.
El Jefe discovered evidence that Anacondas have a lair at Greers Ferry Lake. Giant snake skins…but no snakes to go with them. Because they’re hiding. Watching. Waiting…
I hope your weekend was as magically delicious as ours!
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 