Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

it’s aliiiiiive

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Well, I’m back at work anyway. I’m still really tired, but I feel better so that’s something.

And just in time for Friday the 13th. heh.

This poster made me laugh. Usually the Keep Calm memes are kinda lame (except for the Sparkle one) but this one cracked me up.

Actually, this one did too:

Damn right. Like a fucking lady.

Okay, dudes. I’m off to catch up on work and then maybe there will be a happy hour somewhere I can latch onto!

Y’all have a great weekend. And remember, this dude is not your friend:

Actually, you’ll probably want to avoid anyone in a hockey mask today.

things i’ve learned being at home all week

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  • Kathie Lee and Hoda make my brain hurt. DO.NOT.WANT.
  • Ditto for Rachael Ray.
  • I can totally make organic everything, yummy food, plan an imaginary wedding, decorate my imaginary house, and go on a fantasy vacation thanks to a couple of hours spent staring at Pinterest.
  • I despise everything Mitt Romney stands for and it’s going to be hard to keep my mouth shut. And I probably won’t but I’ll try to only use my Tumblr account to spout off about his moronic, hypocritical politics. The ONLY good thing about this election year is that Sarah Palin isn’t involved. Speaking of morons…/political ranting
  • I love talking to El Jefe about everything from plotting my stories to spending our lottery winnings. 
  • I wish I could go to work in my pajamas.
  • I used to find Daniel Tosh funny but after his recent “jokes” about rape, I’ve changed my mind. Rape isn’t funny, kid. Grow up.
  • Viacom needs to suck it up and give DirecTV customers access to Comedy Central again. This pissing contest is for the birds.  
  • Nancy Grace is a bitch. She has no compassion.
  • Melinda Gates is awesome.
  • Aaron Sorkin has done it again. The Newsroom is one of the best shows on TV right now.
  • I miss my kids even though I’ve been sickly all week. I even miss Rader’s non-stop talking. 

un-in-spired

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I’m just not feeling it today. Still kinda Meh. I think I’ve figured out what’s wrong with me, and trust me, it’s no fun.

So instead of whining and carrying on like a little bitch, I thought I would link you to some fun posts from the past.

Am I Part Leprechaun?   May 8, 2009

Flamingos, Sock Monkeys, Four-Leaf Clovers OH MY! April 15, 2010

Monkey See, Monkey Play June 9, 2011

things and stuffs and things  June 14, 2011

Month of Mel 2012: Day 13 March 13, 2012

Go forth…read some of my past thoughts. See what makes Melf smile and then somebody do something to make me smile today, because the god of your choice knows I could use it.

/whining like a little bitch.

mehday

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I’m all meh today. Tuesday is mehday. Meh. Bleh. Blah.

I went home feeling like I was gonna hurl yesterday, had a headache all day and night and still had a headache this morning. So I took a sick day to try to get over the mehday.

Meh.

The good news is, my Bachelorette recap is live at HDJM. I can’t believe I actually like Emily and the 3 guys she’s taken to the end. That just doesn’t happen. Usually at this point, I barely like any of them, much less all of them.

Oh, check this weird flower-vine-weed-whatever out. Can anyone identify it for me? It’s growing around our pond and it’s pretty cool looking, for an alien. Yeah, I kinda think it’s an alien.

Happy 5th!

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Did my American friends enjoy your day off yesterday (if you had one?) Did you soak up sun and booze and shoot imaginary fireworks? Sorry about the burn bans. No sparklers for us this year!

We had a great day at JChris’s new apartment. We cooked out, laid out, and let it all hang out.  There was even some water volleyball.

BTW, my Bachelorette Hometown Date recap is posted. Sorry it was late. My internets at the house has been out so that makes for posting things to the internet very difficult. Hopefully ATT will sort this out today. No Me Gusta.

Today I get my hurs did! Yay!

committed. as in, i should be committed…

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Oops, I did it again.

I’ve committed to doing the LR Half Marathon in 2013. It’s good to have a goal, right? It’s also good to have a support system in place. People who will root for you and kick your ass when you start slacking. So I started a TEAM MELF group on Facebook. It’s a private group and not everyone is going to train for this specific event, but everyone who is a member has a goal of their own in mind.

Ugh. I mean, Yay!

I’m starting slow. I have a 12 week build-up schedule that I’m going to do then I’ll start following the actual 1/2 marathon training schedule. It’ll be fun, right?

too much plot.

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Dear Magic Mike,

Less talking. More more skin.

Love,
Melf

The movie was fun. But seriously, way too much plot.

How was your weekend? Do anything fun? I got some sun, had some fun with my girls, and cleaned out my closet! (Not to mention spent some fun time with Magic Mike).

I also donated a ton of clothing to Big Brothers and Big Sisters…including my wedding dress. That felt a little weird, but also good. I’m very hopeful that it will bring someone the happiness it once brought me. It’s a beautiful dress, if you’re into that sorta thing. I wanted to elope. But when we didn’t, I decided screw it, I’ll be Princess for a day. And then the princess part stuck…haha. Some people are just meant for royalty–and some are just pretenders to the throne. hahahaha. I’m funny.

Well, that’s all I have for ya today. Love ya. Mean it.

pussycat, pussycat, I’ve got flowers

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Yesterday was my Mom’s birthday, so El Jefe bought her some flowers…and while he was there, he got me some, too! Just because. As it should be.

 After I took the picture, I had to play with my favorite photo apps because I have a sickness.

And speaking of pussycats…Clementine decided to sleep in the bed last night. That doesn’t happen often, as she’s usually on the hunt to kill things in the night.

Happy Friday y’all. It’s a beautiful day here, even if it’s hot as the 7th cave of Hell. (or so I’ve heard, I haven’t visited that cave, yet.)

Oh, and now that I’ve got some Tom Jones stuck in your head, feel free to toss your panties on the stage of life today.

do the humpty hump, do the humpty hump!

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Hey y’all! It’s humpday! Woot!

My Bachelorette recap was posted at Hey Don’t Judge Me yesterday. Get thee over and read. It is pure joy…in a trashy sorta way. Also, there might be some panty-melting going on. Because damn that Arie is sexy when he kisses Emily. SEX. EE.

This weekend it will be just me and the dogs and I’m really looking forward to some quiet time and possibly some pool time somewhere. Or maybe me and the mutts will head to the lake… The boat is out of commission, but that doesn’t mean I can’t lie around on a floaty or on a lounge chair with a beer in my hand while the doggies frolic about like otters.

Besides…I need to work on my tan.

weekend update

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There was a Hot Air Balloon festival in town this weekend…

 This balloon was Jefe’s favorite
 a rare photograph of both of us…

 This balloon was my favorite…of course. I love me some monkeys…

We tried to see the great evening take off on Saturday night…but it must have been too windy for the balloons to launch, so all we got to see was this:
I also went for a pedicure on Saturday, and Rader joined me again. It seems he really likes getting his toes did…
Yesterday I spent a lot of quality time with John Deere and ice cold beer. Even riding a lawn mower when it’s over 100 degrees outside is hard work! 
So, how was your weekend? Hope it started off or ended with a bang!