Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

blinded by the lake…

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First off, I’d like to thank everyone for the kind text messages and emails checking to make sure that we were not where the flash flooding occured. We were about an hour away, and we were in a house on a hill. There was no flooding whatsoever in our area. What happened at the Albert Pike Campground was a terrible tragedy. A flash flood at 5:30 A.M. in a remote area is just not something anyone can prepare for. I’m so thankful we are all safe and alive. My heartfelt prayers go to the families and friends who lost someone in the flood.
Now onto today’s blog…
The weekend was fabulous except for 1 tiny little glitch… My beautiful red glasses are now being worn by some stylish fish in Lake Ouachita.
Yeah. You know something like that had to happen. Of course, I didn’t have any contacts with me (had an eye infection a few weeks ago, remember? I’m not wearing those contacts again until I get new ones…) And of course, I didn’t bring an extra pair of glasses, cuz why would I? I’ve been wearing my glasses on the lake for 30+ years…I’ve never lost them before! Why would I lose them now?
Well, because sometimes Karma likes to have a little fun with a girl, that’s why. But it’s all good. It all worked out. And in the grand scheme of things, this was small potatoes compared to what could have happened. So, I just laughed and cried a little…drank a little, borrowed my friend’s extra pair of glasses (which were surprisingly close to my prescription) and moved on.
Here is the last picture ever taken of me and my awesome glasses. May they swim in peace…

I drove and parked the party barge like a champ. Got a little sun. Had some yummy food. Enjoyed several flavors of Ring Pops. And had a fantastic time with 6 7 (Allana left a little early so she isn’t pictured here) women who I’m lucky to call my friends. Life is good.

week be gone!

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Me and the girls will be at the lake. There will be very few pictures, because we don’t want to incriminate ourselves.

No evidence is really the only way to go.

If you’re out on Ouachita this weekend, look for a party barge full of hot babes. Bunko Babes, that is.

dude! where’s my limo??

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Meet the back of Pauly’s head. Okay, his name is Paul but by the end of the night he was Pauly. He was pretty awesome. And hot. And funny. And a really good sport because let me tell ya, we did NOT have our filters with us yesterday. All in all we were very happy to have Pauly carting us around!


Meet the bar. ‘Nuff said. (isn’t this a pretty bad ass picture?)

Me and Dee. This was our “Pretty Woman” moment. Except we’re not Richard Gere.


Here’s half of the group that went yesterday. I didn’t get a pic on my phone of the whole group but a couple of the other girls did. When they send me a copy, I’ll post it.
Sex and the City 2 was fun. It was exactly what it was supposed to be: a Sex and the City movie. If you expect greatness, you’ll be disappointed. If you go expecting to laugh a little and enjoy a really long episode of SATC…then you’ll be thrilled.
We had a blast last night. Thanks again to Big Poppa aka The Sheriff for making it happen. And thanks to Dee for letting me crash with her last night. She’s the best snuggler ever. And thanks again to Pauly for being awesome.
Oh, and someone lost $10 last night and it wound up in my purse. Not sure how…but hey, if you’re short a 10-spot, I have it. If you don’t claim it by 5 today, I’m going to use it to buy my margaritas tonight for Thursday night out….so thanks in advance!

it’s a girl’s day out!

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Today is the day that me and my Thurz Girls go out and play! Limo, cocktails, lunch, cocktails, limo, Sex and the City 2, cocktails… Well, you get the picture.

The Sheriff (my nickname for my friend’s hubby) has reserved us a car and driver. Not sure if it’s an actual Limo or a Navigator–I think it depends on how many of the Thurz Girls rsvp’d for the event. It doesn’t matter…all that matters is we’re going to spend the day in STYLE.

I wore my kitty dress today, but no high heels. I just didn’t have it in me. Gold sandals is the only way to go for me today.
I’ll try to take lots of pics with my iPhone (forgot my other camera) and post them here and on Facebook!
Oh, and team BITE ME! took 3rd place last night at trivia. Damn Wager of Death got us again!!!

um, where did u go?

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yeah. I totally had a blog topic in my head this morning.

And now that topic has totally disappeared. Vanished. Run away. Died a thousand deaths. Went kaput. Is temporarily unavailable.

Whatever you wanna call it, it’s gone.

So now what do I talk about? I could discuss last night’s Bachelorette, but that would bore you all to tears. Yes. Yesterday’s show was the most boring Bachelorette ever. YAWN. No big surprises. No big deal with who was sent home. Lots of forced drama. Blah. Blah. Blah. I will say, I really, really, really like Chris L. and his cute little Cape Cod accent. And Jesse should just never wear a shirt. Ever.

I’m going to see Sex and the City tomorrow afternoon with my girlfriends.

Tonight is Trivia Night. But I’m feeling kinda blah and low key…guess that realy doesn’t have anything to do with my head full of useless knowledge, but I do tend to have a better time when my sparkle is running at 110%. Guess I need to get my sparkle going again.

I’ll leave you guys with my favorite pic from yesterday. The big guy is Buckshot…my neighbor’s big old aging yellow lab. The pug, is of course my Ruby. Isn’t this a great shot?

weekend wrap up with 50% more pictures!

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First off: Happy VCR Day! Yes, I blogged about this fantastic holiday over at Fictionistas. Check-check-check-check it out!

Weekend Recap:

Friday evening and Saturday morning this was my view:

Yes that’s right. I had John Deere Dreams this weekend. See, my new casa is on an acre of land which is connected to my madre’s casa which is on 5 acres of land. So in lieu of rent, me and the boys do what we can to tend the land. Especially now that madre has had hand surgery.

Then Saturday night I went to Juanita’s to see my BFF Jenn Christman perform stand up for the 2nd time ever. She was a big hit! In the world of Bonuses, I got to see a former high school classmate of mine perform as well. Angry Patrick is indeed angry. But he is also funny.

Then Sunday, this was my view for a few hours:

And on Sunday night, the boys and I had dinner with friends and I met their niece who loved BITE ME! and was so excited to hear that Aunt Jena and Uncle Paul knew the author. Here I am with Emily (from Pontotoc, MS. Just a few miles down the road from Oxford, where I lived for 7 years!)

I wish I could say after such a busy weekend, that I’m well rested. But no. I didn’t sleep worth a crap last night thanks to a horrific nightmare. I don’t know about you, but dreaming of stabbing a stalker in the throat is just not my idea of fun.

Did y’all have a great weekend? Do anything special?

it’s THURSDAY all up in here!

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First of all, a little housekeeping. You may have noticed that http://www.melissafrancis.net now takes you to a home page. It’s a pretty cool looking page, if I do say so myself. Thanks fishdog for fixing that up for me. We’d been having some issues with the links not working properly, etc. but it’s all better now. You may have to change your blog feed address to http://www.blog.melissafrancis.net if you want to keep viewing Mel-O-Drama in a reader.

So the other day, my youngest niece Scarlette called me. The conversation went something like this;

Scar: Hey Aunt Mel, can you come to my school picnic so my
best friend can meet you?
Aunt Mel: You mean I’ll get attention from an adoring
fan?
Scar: Yes. She loves you.
Aunt Mel: Duh. Of course I’ll be there. Even if your best
friend didn’t give me attention because you’re my niece and you called and asked
me.
Scar: Yeah. Whatever. Thanks!

I believe this means I’m totally giving my niece street cred of some sort. THAT’S AWESOME RIGHT THERE.

So this afternoon I’ll be hanging at Pine Haven Elementary in Bauxite, AR for their end of the school year picnic with my niece. And apparently an adoring fan. Oh yeah. Somebody get the head shrinking gear out. I think I’m gonna need it!

Seriously though, I love it when I get emails and letters from kids (and parents!) who love my book. It makes my day. The fact that this ‘fan letter’ came via a phone call from my niece might just be the coolest of the cool.

What y’all got going on today?

oh humpday, my humpday!

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Team BITE ME! took 2nd place last night at Trivia Night…and we have a $25 gift certificate to show for it. We didn’t miss a single question until half-time, where we only managed to get 3 of the 6 states who’s captiol cities start with the letter C. I will go on record right now to say that I argued til I was blue in the face that Chattanooga was NOT the capital of TN. (NASHVILLE! Duh!!) but I was outvoted. Team Swhartz beat us by 2 lousy points. *grumble grumble*

I also want to give props to my son Ian for knowing without a doubt that Gregor Mendel is known for his study of the inheritance of certain traits in pea plants. I’m very proud to know that he actually does listen in Biology. (Geometery is another story…)

I’m having a super cute day today. I think it’s the dress. Every time I wear my green dress, I feel all sparkly. I think I need to go somewhere this afternoon. I don’t wanna waste all this cute just at work.

Next Wednesday is Sex and the City day for me and some of my girlfriends. One of the husbands has rented us a limo and is going to take us where ever we want to go before and after the movie. This way we can drink our cosmos in style and not have to take a cab. He’s the bestest ever.

Well, that about wraps up the humpday chronicles. Anything going on in your neck of the woods?

a MELting pot blog

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Went back to the lake yesterday. Ahhhhhh. Don’t I look content? I’m telling you, Vitamin D is my favorite vitamin on earth.

I practiced driving the party barge…driving really isn’t an issue–it’s the parking it in the dock that I kinda suck at. It’s gonna be pretty interesting in a couple of weeks when I’m hosting my Bunko group at the lake. Those pics should be fun. Or not.

Tonight is trivia night. If I go, I’m gonna be late. I’m not sure I’ll know how to handle missing trivia…so I guess I better make sure I get there, huh?

Now, let’s talk BACHELORETTE:

S
P
O
I
L
E
R
S

A
R
E

B
E
L
O
W

First of all, CRAIG M. is the biggest douche known to man and I’m glad he’s gone. I think the Weatherman was right on: Craig M. is psycho. Glad Ali dumped him on his big-haired ass.

Justin bugs me. He seems sweet, but I’m telling you, something isn’t right with that boy. Mark my words, the wrassler isn’t an honest man.

Frank is so damn cute. I wanna eat him up with a spoon. Same with Roberto. Yummy. He can hit a homerun with me anytime.

Jesse is HOT. That body and those tats had me MELting everywhere. And I really like Ty. Alot. I have a feeling he’s gonna go a long way. If I were to pick the top 4, it would be Frank, Roberto, Jesse, and Ty. BUT, of that group, Jesse is the one who is least likely to go.

I truly think Roberto will go to the final 2. Not sure who the other one will be…maybe Ty (because wow he’s charming) or Frank (because he makes me laugh. I heart him…)

Are you watching? What do you think?

Vitamin D

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So we spent yesterday at the lake with the fam. It was a great day. My brother played Captain and I played Goddess and the kids just played. I always feel amazing after a good dose of Vitamin D!

Here’s a pic that sums up the day pretty well.
No we’re not having any fun at all, are we?

Of course, being on the lake just makes me long for some beach time. It wasn’t far from this time last year that I was frolicking in the sand and surf, soaking up all the Vitamin D I could. I’m so ready to do that again. Maybe I can squeeze some time in this summer…if the oil doesn’t manage to ruin it for everyone.

Dear BP,
You suck.
Love,
Melf

If I could be anywhere right now, it would be the Florida Keys. I’m actually thinking about going this year for Christmas because I’ve never been. Who wants to join me? This place looks nice…