Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

Honestly? What is wrong with people?

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Look. I get it. There’s humor in everything. I can make fun of my State-sized ass. I can tease my skinny friends out of love and envy. I can take a joke… But I’m a grown-ass woman who is comfortable in her skin.

What I can’t take is people being mean. Just mean. Because kids see it and they take that shit to heart. Especially young girls.

Yesterday I was looking for motivational stuff on pinterest and humorous e-cards and I came across this and I nearly had a stroke.

“inner beauty is for fat people”

First off, fuck you.

Secondly, I know some people of all shapes and sizes that need a dose of inner beauty. Size does not matter.

But most importantly. WHY WOULD YOU MAKE SOMETHING LIKE THIS? There are teenage girls everywhere, searching for anything to make them feel more secure and less ugly. They’re awkward. They still have their baby fat at 14 but their friends are tall and thin. They hope to hell the Ugly Duckling story is true…so they search for anything to make them feel hope….and they see this.

Sigh.

So we had a conversation about it on FB yesterday.

Sorry, some of the comments are doubled, but you get the picture.

The fact is, kids are impressionable. You tell a little girl she’s beautiful on the inside or has a great personality and one day somebody will like her, then what you get is a little girl who believes she’ll never be pretty. Or that she’ll always be fat and that fat isn’t beautiful. If you mock a little girl for not having boobs to wear that dress or for wearing a slut dress, that little girl hears that boobs are what’s important in life and that she’s a slut. If you tell a little girl her thighs are too big for that short skirt, you’ll get a little girl who believes she has fat thighs–even if they’re all muscle.

Why do we shame people like this? No wonder it’s so hard for people to overcome their childhood issues.

You can say what you want to me or about me. I don’t care. Like I said, I am comfortable in my own skin and your opinion of me doesn’t matter. But when these messages get out and young, impressionable minds see them, it breaks my heart. Growing up, I was that girl. Had I seen this as a teen, I think it would have broken me.

Anyway, just be nice to each other, okay? And remember, everyone is beautiful. Their actions may be ugly sometimes, but that doesn’t mean they don’t have something beautiful inside them.

/end rant.

feelin’ SASSY!

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I’m talking about motivation, failure and success at FCR today. Go forth and read.

I thought I was going to gnaw my arm off yesterday afternoon around 4:30. I’ve been eating a ton of protein, but I guess my activity increase has motivated my metabolism to jump into gear, (this is a good thing) and by yesterday afternoon, I could’ve chased down a wildebeest and eaten it live in 4.5 seconds.

Instead, I went home and hurriedly put together a very high protein wrap and drank some roasted dandelion tea.  And I was full for the rest of the night.

And I woke this morning, full sass and sparkle. I hope you guys are wearing your shades, because I’m shining bright!

So rapid topic change…some of you folks need to stop taking FB so damn seriously. For REALZ. First off, if you have to qualify every freakin’ post on your own page with something like “Don’t be a hater, but…” or “This is MY opinion only, don’t hate…” then probably, you’re wrapping your ‘opinion’ in a bundle of judgement. And that’s okay, it’s your page, but if you’re not comfortable with the response you are going to get, then probably you should rethink your post.  Either own your feelings or bury them on the inside. Stop getting so defensive. (Probably, you wouldn’t be so defensive if you didn’t have some passive-aggressive alternate point to your post anyway.)

Just know, if you’re always posting life drama or hating on someone or ‘qualifying’ all your ‘controversial’ opinions…I’m hiding you from my news feed. I don’t need the negativity. I’ve spent months ridding myself of it…and since I find FB to be a place to be playful and fun, your constant pettiness and vitriol is not for me. You’re welcome to continue to drown yourself in it–it’s your page after all. I just choose to smile and click “hide from news feed.”

And this…is how I choose to live. It’s amazing how great I feel now that I’ve changed my attitude. It was a lot of work (and still is) but it was totally worth it.

Happy Tuesday! I hit the gym at lunch, am walking after work, then I’m getting my lashes refilled. Tomorrow is supposed to be hella stormy, and seriously, I’m kind of excited about it. I love a good spring thunderstorm…as long as nobody is hurt.

Stay sassy and carry on, bitches!

A weekend of sunshine and awesome.

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I posted my Week 1 of 12 update at FCR this morning. Also there’s a fantastic baked or grilled salmon recipe included. Go forth and enjoy.

What a lovely weekend. I managed to mow for a couple of hours on Saturday, after walking 4 miles with Robyn. I also drove topless all weekend long.

The TreeFrog and his friend came over to do some yard work and enjoy foods that only his momma can fix.

That night, I baked some asparagus stuffed chicken breasts and made rice pilaf…mmmmm. And let met tell ya something, I threw some of the leftovers into a tortilla and added a little sour cream and avocado yesterday and it was one of the yummiest wraps I’ve ever tasted.

I don’t know if you’ve figured it out or not, but I’m kind of a big deal in the kitchen. (true story)

Jefe and I took the girls for their first swim of the season this weekend. Well, Trinity swam, Ruby waded and played but didn’t venture out very far. She sinks without her life jacket anyway, so probably it was for the best.

This was a lovely weekend. First one in a while that was sunshiny and warm. I even have a little color on my face and arms now! YAY! I hope y’all enjoyed the hell out of your weekend, and that you’re sparkling extra brightly today…even though it’s a Monday!

Oh, and BTW, my Father-in-Law’s surgery was successful and he’s home safe and sound. Thanks for the love and healing thoughts!

happy friday…and finally we have some sun!!

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Hey gang! Yay for FRIDAY!

And Yay for SUNSHINE!

There will be lots of yard work this weekend, me and ol’ John Deere are going to start seeing each other on a regular basis again. (Don’t tell Jefe. He gets really jealous) I need to walk tomorrow as well. Gotta keep my streak going!

In other news, my sweet father-in-law is having surgery for the second time this week. If you could please send some healing thoughts his way, I’d really appreciate it. Here’s a pic of him at Rader’s 8th grade graduation…

And here are both of my in-laws* with Robyn (their god-daughter)

If you could send some love their way, I’d appreciate it!

Hope y’all have a beautiful weekend. You deserve it!

*legally they are my “ex” in-laws, but in reality they are always going to be family.

hey ho!

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This song will cheer you up on a rainy day like today. OMG it is soooo damn dreary. I can’t wait til tomorrow, where the weather is supposed to match my sunshiny disposition. Okay, here’s another song that always makes me happy. I love the original by The Foundations, but here’s another version that’s a lot of fun:

BUILD ME UP BUTTERCUP : McFly (feat. Busted)


And here’s the only BEST way to listen to a Justin Bieber song, it’s a NEON TREES Mash-up:

STAND BY ME and the Beib’s BABY.

If you’re feeling down today, these songs should perk you right up! I’m happy to report, I’m feeling good this week after eating healthy every day, exercising every day, and sleeping well. And I’m in a fantastic freaking mood and have been all week…despite the gloomy weather. Hurry up, Friday! I need your sunshine!!! Meanwhile…y’all keep your sexy goin’…and sparkle until the sunshine can’t resist your shine!

bippity boppity boo

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I have no idea why I chose this title, but there you go. So, here you go:

Robyn and I enjoyed the sunshine yesterday and walked nearly 3 miles. My body protested, of course. But this morning, I woke up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (note to self: shave tail) this morning.

12 weeks. We are committing to 12 weeks of eating healthier, and exercising daily. Like I said at FCR yesterday, I’ve done a great job keeping up my positive attitude and working on my sense of self. Now I just have to stop fueling my body with crap and start filling my well with exercise. After we complete the first 12, we’ll do it again until this is habit.

So, bippity boppity boo! It’s like magic. Only it takes dedication. I would very much like for my fairy godmother to help me out, though.

Happy day of foolishness!

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“A naked woman in heels is a beautiful thing. A naked man in shoes looks like a fool.”
~Christian Louboutin

 Wise words for a foolish day…

How was your weekend? Mine was pretty fantastic. I love stormy weather. Lightning crackling and thunder booming…hard rains pelting the roof in a soothing staccato, lulling me back to sleep with its rhythmic lullaby… the only problem with the stormy weather (aside from the hail. POOR SALLY SPARKLE) was trying to get out of bed on Sunday. So I didn’t. Until lunch time with the family.

 Saturday afternoon, Jefe and I went to see GI JOE. Ladies, I’m not gonna lie, too many shirts were worn in this movie. But there was plenty to see and enjoy. And lots of explosions and bullets. And a little bit of witty repartee. It was covered in cheese, but that’s okay. Would you really expect anything else?

Friday was the only “lovely” day of the weekend until Sunday late afternoon, so when I got home from work, I sat outside and read.

I really wish Spring would get here and stay. It’s going to rain here Tuesday-Thrusday and only be in the 40s. But today, it will be sunny and  70s so Robyn and I are gonna get an outside walk in, while we have a chance.

Now, for a really lovely and inspiring read, for those of us who are amply-endowed and trying to get healthy. Check this out…HEY, FAT GIRL.

 Hope y’all have a beautiful Monday. And be careful for the pranksters…they’re out there. And you never know…you might be their next target!

ETA: btw, Carbkiller has resurrected our Fat Chicks Running blog and I’m gonna be participating again as well. I’m doing a 12 weeks challenge, so if I haven’t blogged here, you’ll probably find me there.

2013: Month of Mel Day 26

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Marriage equality is a human right. Not a heterosexual right.

Period. The End. I can’t believe we are even debating this.

Love is love.


There’s so much pettiness, jealousy, bitterness and hatred in this world. Why can’t we just let love rule?

I’m wearing red to show my support of marriage equality today. Are you?

2013: Month of Mel Days 16-25

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I took a blogging break for my birthday month. Sometimes a girl just needs a little downtime. So…let me catch you up.

My TreeFrog turned 19 on the 16th. We had Japanese food and pedicures to celebrate.

Rader went for Catholic High colors. Ian chose to be Emo Nemo with black toes and I really wanted a touch of spring, so I chose the lovely blue.

Last week, my friend Lynne did my lashes for me. And now my eyes POP.

It’s amazing how different having long lashes can make your eyes look. My natural lashes are thin, straight, short and blond. (sounds like my first boyfriend!) Curling and mascara don’t really help much.

I’m totes digging the lashes. I’m bangin’ hot now. (not that I wasn’t before. but whatever.)

It seems that Mother Nature decided that since I bought a convertible AND got my toes did, that she needed to punish me for wishful thinking. Spring has not sprung. I need some warm weather, stat. I need some sun on my skin, wind in my hair, and quality time on a boat. Sooner rather than later.

Hope you guys had a good week and weren’t too bored without me. I know, I miss y’all, too.

2013:Month of Mel Day 15

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Not only is today the Ides of March Melf, it’s also:

  1. Everything You Think is Wrong Day: This is a day totally dedicated to everything you do is wrong…you know, that day that everything just messes up? Well, here you go. Don’t worry though, because tomorrow is Everything You Do is Right Day. So if today is wrong, tomorrow will be all right.
  2. Absolutely Incredible Kids Day!
    Sure, your kid is pretty good. But, my kid is absolutely incredible! As a matter of fact, all of my kids are absolutely incredible. As a parent, I am going to take full advantage of being the author of this page to exercise my bragging rights, and to let you know that my kids are absolutely incredible. (Wow! That felt pretty good.)

    If the paragraph above doesn’t give you a good impression of the meaning and purpose of this day, then you probably don’t have kids…yet. When those offspring do arrive, you will most certainly use this special  day to profess how incredible your kids are. Amazingly, tomorrow they go back to being brats.”

  3. Dumbstruck Day:
    “Dumbstruck Day is a day to be totally dumbstruck over the things you see, hear and read. You may easily be dumbstruck to read that someone created this special day. Some people are dumbstruck on a regular basis, day in and day out. The events in their lives and the world around them are overwhelming. Fortunately, that’s not you (we hope).

    However, everyone has their chance to be dumbstruck once in a while. If you are normally embarrassed to be dumbstruck, then today is truely a special day. Today, you can be dumbstruck like the rest of us without guilt or embarrassment.  

So, let’s talk about the Day of Sparkle…

First, we need to back up to March 13, when the Conclave chose a new Pope…which changed EVERYTHING I had planned. Why? Because I had to give them the Pope Hat back. I was totally going to wear it all day yesterday.

Damn that white smoke.

When they called me to let me know, I immediately started negotiating. I had something they needed. They had to give me something in return.

 And they did. Our deal was, if he was going to get his hat back, then he had to take my name. POPE FRANCIS was born.

Seriously, how am I going to top that next year?

Yesterday was amazing. Every text and note and post I received made me smile. THE LOVE. I FELT IT.

Here’s how my day went:

This weekend is the TreeFrog’s 19th birthday. We are doing Benihana tomorrow, and St. Paddy’s Day at the Races! And we’re getting our toes did tonight!

I love birthday month!

Y’all have a great weekend and don’t forget to be Irish on Sunday so you can get all the kisses!