Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

digging up the past

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My statcounter has been really interesting lately. A fairly new reader from Arkansas has been digging through my archives on a weekly basis. I’m glad someone is enjoying my blog so much they want to read my archives! Of course, seeing all the links this person clicked made me wanna dig through them again, too.

Aw. My kids were so cute.

Here are some of my favorite blogs that I’ve found so far:

September 2005

A Rader Blog: If it’s green; it matches

An Ian Blog: Laugh or cry?

An Everybody Blog: On Farts and Billy Ray Cyrus

October 2005:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Looking for Laughter

Some of my Favorite Things

How fun it was to go back through some of my older posts. Life has changed a lot since then, but the happy memories are fresh again. Thanks for the reminder!

Maybe I’ll post some random links to some archived blogs each week. I’m especially enjoying how different the kids look!

Happy Friday! I’ve got a big weekend planned with just the boys. Yardwork, movies, Hog Game, and lots of hanging out and I’m sure laughter. Because they do make me laugh all the time.

Random pics of the day:

I figured since I was digging up the past today, I’d show you guys some pics I took in 2006. These are from my neighborhood in Oxford on a brisk fall morning.

Y’all have a fabulous weekend!

Do you know what you can buy for $4000?

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Yesterday was just a crap day all around. (and no, it had nothing to do with the elections. I mean, I am quite convinced the weather was cold and crappy because the Deatheaters had taken over and were sucking the happiness out of the world, but that had absolutely nothing to do with my day or my mood.) It was just one of those days. And no matter how much I wanted it to get better, it just seemed to get worse.

But today, the sun is out, my mood is bright and life is full of sparkle again. (Sparkle is not the same as Bedazzled, just so you know.)

I sparkle on the inside, which shows on the outside…well, I usually do. Yesterday–not so much.

Anyway, today I’m all better thanks to a nice talk with El Jefe last night, a couple of yummy beers, some fun time hanging with my boys and a very good night’s sleep.

Speaking of the boys…here’s a snippet of conversation from last night:

Ian: $4000! Rader! Do you know what I could buy for 4 grand?

Rader: A hooker. No wait, for $4000 she’d be a call girl.

Me: *deafening silence with mouth hanging open*

Ah yes. I love being the mother of two very funny boys.

thank goodness that’s over (you may just wanna skip this rant)

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The one good thing I can say about the elections? They’re over–which means no more political ads.

Unfortunately, the one ad that should’ve run every 2 minutes, I never saw on TV. Sadly, I have a feeling we’re in for a repeat performance of some of the things discussed in this ad.

It’s too late now, but…in two years, maybe people will remember again.

It’s a huge pet peeve for me. I lost a house, lost my savings, and pretty much lost my marriage due to the housing crash thanks to deregulation. Yeah, I’m a bit bitter about it. But hey, now the GOP is in charge again, so surely EVERYTHING will be just fine. Right?

Hah. This country’s government has completely forgotten it is supposed to work FOR THE PEOPLE. I’m people and trust me, our government stopped working for me when Clinton’s term ended. Obama hasn’t even been given 2 years to fix the mess that it took GW 8 years to get us into. But it’s over now. And all I can say is I’d much rather watch Viagra commercials over hate-filled political ads any day.
And I’m off my political soap box. Like I said on Facebook…I’m going to my happy place where there is sunshine, unicorns, and Matt Damon.

send in the clowns and watch Melf panic

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Before I get to my panic attack, let me show you some fantastic reviews I’ve recently received!

BITE ME! from Leslee at Night Owl Teen Reviews
BITE ME! & LOVE SUCKS! from Sharon’s Garden of Books
LOVE SUCKS! from Zoe’s Book Reviews

go forth and enjoy the awesome…

Okay, I know, you don’t really care about my fabulous reviews. All you care about is my pain…So here, let me share it with you.

Y’all all know I came to work dressed as Mrs. Roper on Friday for costume day. We had a good crowd of costumes…and one of them included a soul-sucking rabid clown from Hell.

Now, I’ve joked in the past about how much I hate clowns, but usually I can handle them. Only Pennywise from Stephen King’s IT has really ever made me wish for instant death. The others I’ve usually managed to just shudder, wrinkle my nose in disgust and move on.

That all changed on Friday.
My co-worker Dan decided to torture me and sadly, there is photographic evidence to prove it.

I’ve never had anything remotely resembling a panic attack until this moment. My heart was racing, I was hyperventilating, laughing nervously until I started crying, and shaking like a polaroid picture. Yeah, I knew it was Dan. Yeah, I knew this was a costume. Yeah, I knew I was safe…but I couldn’t stop my body from taking over and freaking out.

Of course, it didn’t help that Dan was standing behind me saying things like “I live under your bed.” and “I’m very fast. You can run, but I’ll catch you.”

Now you know my Achilles’ Heel, Internetz. With great knowledge comes great responsibility. So don’t clown me unless you wanna die, because I am now carrying a taser in my purse just in case…

just say no to the ‘Mo’

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Gather ’round Internetz. Melf has a very important public service announcement.

There are two men and only two men in this world who can wear a mustache.

Sam Elliot

and Tom Selleck



Do you know why I bring this up? Because of this: Movember

The Mo, slang for moustache, and November come together each year for Movember.

Movember challenges men to change their appearance and the face of men’s health by growing a moustache. The rules are simple, start Movember 1st clean-shavenand then grow a moustache for the entire month. The moustache becomes the ribbon for men’s health, the means by which awareness and funds are raised for cancers that affect men. Much like the commitment to run or walk for charity, the men of Movember commit to growing a moustache for 30 days.

Ok, I applaud the out of the box thinking on this, however, I am concerned about subjecting the public to an over abundance of 70s Porn ‘staches. We survived it once, I’m not sure we, as a society, will be able to survive it again.

Please, if you’re considering this…PLEASE understand that you will not ever be Sam Elliot or Tom Selleck and you will be opening yourself up to a month-long ridicule…The ‘stache, the Mo, the lip catepillar…it needs to remain in the 70s.

Now, if you wanna grow a beard or a goatee that’s long enough for me to play with and braid…GO FOR IT, ROY!

Just say no to the mo…

Let Love Rule (Melf on another Soapbox)

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THIS (if that link doesn’t work, try this one)is unacceptable. Hatred and bigotry in any form is just plain not okay. Period. And this man is a member of a school board! Is this the type of person you would want representing your children?

Quote from Clint McCance’s facebook page:

“Seriously they want me to wear purple because five queers committed suicide. The only way I’m wearin’ it for them is if they all commit suicide. I cant believe the people of this world have gotten this stupid. We are honoring the fact that they sinned and killed themselves because of their sin.”

“Being a fag doesn’t give you the right to ruin the rest of our lives. If you get easily offended by being called a fag then don’t tell anyone you are a fag. Keep that shit to yourself. It pisses me off though that we make a special purple fag day for them. Ilike that fags cant procreate. I also enjoy the fact that they often give each other aids and die.”

I’m disgusted. Truly, in my gut, disgusted. And I’m sad that Arkansas will get a bad rap over the short-sighted, hate-filled opinion of this one man who happens to live in this beautiful state.

I can’t believe this man holds a position of power in a school district. Shame on you, sir. It seems you’ve forgotten a very important rule in life…DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU. Christian or not, that’s a pretty darn good guideline to go by, don’t you think?

No matter how you feel about homosexuality, you should definitely agree that wishing kids dead is not okay. If you think it is, get off my blog, please. You’re not welcome ’round these parts. I don’t hate you, I just don’t wanna be around you. Kthxbai.

ETA: This is an article that has a screenshot of his actual facebook page and includes more hate-filled quotes, including this gem: “I would disown my kids they were gay. They will not be welcome at my home or in my vicinity. I will absolutely run them off.”

Here at Mel-O-Drama, we prefer to Let Love Rule. Take it away, Lenny:

a Melf pet-peeve

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Gather around, Internetz. Melf has a pet-peeve she’d like to discuss with you.

Halloween falls on the same date every year: October 31

So why is it that every time the holiday falls on a Sunday, the question arises “When do we celebrate Halloween?”

I truly don’t understand why this question is even asked. We celebrate Halloween on October 31…like we always do!

Okay, I bring this up because the county in which I currently reside (Saline) has voted that trick-or-treating will take place this year on Saturday.

And the reason they are giving for this? Because it’s on a school night and kids need their rest.

*cough*bullshit*cough*

They’ve never passed a resolution on any other weekday in history to observe Halloween over the weekend instead of during the week. Are they saying that kids only need rest on Sunday nights?

This has absolutely nothing to do with being a school day and has everything to do with Halloween being a supposedly “evil” holiday and landing on a “holy” day. It’s crap, is what it is, and it gives me a rash.

You either celebrate Halloween or you don’t–and the day the holiday falls on shouldn’t matter. But to legislate the day an entire community must trick-or-treat to appease a few is beyond ridiculous. Halloween is on Sunday October 31, not on Saturday, October 30. If you come to my house Saturday night, I won’t be home…sorry. However, Sunday night, I will have a big bucket o’ candy waiting for you. Because THAT is Halloween–I don’t care what the Saline County Board of Whatevers say.

I haz a new hat! (& also a new snuggie…)

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Look what was waiting for me when I arrived at El Jefe’s Friday night:awwwww. Somebody likes me!

This was an incredibly sweet gift considering the Razorbacks were actually playing Ole Miss on Saturday…

Oh yes, I thought it was very sweet…until I opened the wrapped present and discovered my brand new Ole Miss Snuggie. Bwahahahahahahahhahahahaha
Now, to be fair, I had this coming. I sorta kinda have been leaving little Razorback trinkets all over his house every time I visit and then I just wait until he finds them. Like when I got the text “I’m drinking my coffee out of my new Razorback mug.” a couple of weeks ago, which I had left in his dishwasher. It’s a game that makes me laugh…until I get something in return, such as an Ole Miss Snuggie.

I suppose it’s okay though…as long as there is never any photographic evidence of me snuggled up in the snuggie…unlike there is of El Jefe, wearing my Razorback hat…