Here’s my #1 child. He turns 17 in just a few weeks. We always called him Treefrog when he was a baby.
Sometimes I’m funny. This is a true story. I’m not even making it up. I can sometimes make people laugh.
And sometimes I only make myself laugh. But seriously, if I don’t make myself laugh, who will?
This morning, I made both boys laugh until my oldest asked me to stop because he was gonna have an accident and he wasn’t talking about pee.
I told him that would be a problem for me because my love stopped at teenage poop. There. I said it. I put a condition on my love for my children and that condition is poo.
This did not help the laughter situation at all, btw. But he managed to control his guts, which is good because I totally would have put him out of the car with $10 and said, “Good luck with that.” (ok, maybe a slight exaggeration as there is currently no cash in my wallet. Sorry kid.)
Anyway, I’m just glad I can crack my kids up. I figure this will go a long way in the future therapy that I will be paying for. At least they can laugh at how screwed up I made them.
I had another, almost perfect moment with my youngest this week. We were getting our geek on at the Science Fair. When it was over, we had to brave the bitter, 40 mph winds to the car which was almost 2 blocks away. In a burst of simultaneous awesome, we started singing TALK DIRTY TO ME by Poison (it had been on the radio earlier). So there I am, with my 13 year old son, racing across middle school campus belting out an 80s hairband classic. In the midst of this musical moment, a couple of girls passed us and yelled “Hey Rader’s Mom!” and I stopped singing long enough to yell “Hey strange girls I don’t know!” and then we continued on.
Yes, I am a very lucky momma. If there’s one thing I’ve ever done right in my life, it’s my awesome kids. Even if I have effed them up a bit…
It was an Eskimo Ninja battle of epic proportions that was fought without honor. Blood was shed. It was awesome!
Ruby actually embraced the snow after a while. She ran and hopped and played until she started shivering so much I was afraid she was gonna give herself brain damage.
We built forts that were pretty awesome. Double A (my niece) and I built snow bricks with a box and a plastic basket. Eventually Rader left the team of 4 boys to join us…and our fort rocked. The boys just packed snow over some plastic containers. Our snow fort was actually a fort, thankyouverymuch. Girls rock!
After the fort was built, we began to stockpile our ammunition.
While this was going on, the boys sent Ian over to “spy” on us.
There were no clear winners (hahahaha we kicked ass!) but a good time was had by all!
In other news, the sun is out today and the snow is already starting to melt. Thank goodness. I already feel the cabin fever eating away at my brain. (Mainly because I don’t have cable TV and daytime TV sucks!) Yes, I know, I should be more productive and do something like clean my house or finish laundry–but it’s a snow day! Who wants to work on a snow day?
Hope all of y’all are safe, happy and warm. Currently, I’m dreaming of a beach side hammock, a cocktail, and sexy cabana boy named El Jefe serving my every whim… 🙂
A busy weekend was had by all!
Yesterday was just a crap day all around. (and no, it had nothing to do with the elections. I mean, I am quite convinced the weather was cold and crappy because the Deatheaters had taken over and were sucking the happiness out of the world, but that had absolutely nothing to do with my day or my mood.) It was just one of those days. And no matter how much I wanted it to get better, it just seemed to get worse.
I sparkle on the inside, which shows on the outside…well, I usually do. Yesterday–not so much.
Anyway, today I’m all better thanks to a nice talk with El Jefe last night, a couple of yummy beers, some fun time hanging with my boys and a very good night’s sleep.
Speaking of the boys…here’s a snippet of conversation from last night:
Ian: $4000! Rader! Do you know what I could buy for 4 grand?
Rader: A hooker. No wait, for $4000 she’d be a call girl.
Me: *deafening silence with mouth hanging open*
Ah yes. I love being the mother of two very funny boys.
First I’d like to share a snippet of just exactly what goes on inside my #2 son’s head:
“Mom, why is it that we never see a solid color Boston Terrier? They’re always cow colored.”
Cow Colored = awesome
Yesterday I was hangin with my friend Laura and her kiddo, Ellis. Ellis was wearing a t-shirt with a weird looking unicorn on it and it said “They stole my freaking kidney!” Okay, this was funny just by itself, but I had to know that story.
And now you will know the story, too.
This one is my favorite: Charlie the Unicorn 2 (The Banana King)
And here’s where they steal his freaking kidney:
There are many others and I plan to watch them all. Because they are warped and awesome and just this side of WTFery.
Sweet Anderson! is my new favorite utterance. It’s actually the name of a race horse but we’ve decided it’s just awesome to say. And so we say it. Loudly. With exclamation points.
Try it. You’ll be hooked.
What a weekend, y’all. I actually have pictures from the Arkansas Literary Festival and from the epic soccer event but they are all on my camera. And my camera cord is…um…somewhere. I did get one pic with my phone from the festival:
LOOK! I’m on a poster! Okay, my book is on a poster, but whatever. How awesome is that?
I also got a couple of pics of the #2 child. I’ve always called Rader my “little brown baby” because he tans like I used to: Quickly and very dark. This is from two days in the sun with a shirt on:
Okay, at first I thought that ring-around-the-neckline was dirt and I tried to shout it out by yelling SWEET ANDERSON! at it. But then I realized it wasn’t dirt, it’s his tanline. Yes, he has soccer tan. I’ve told him next weekend he has to play shirtless so he can even out a bit. That’s a little freaky…
Hmmm, what else went on this weekend? I met some great new folks, had drinks with my besties, spoke at the festival about writerly stuff with my pal Stacey Jay and another author who I’d never met until that day–Deborah LeBlanc. Epic soccer (oh wait, I said that already) and bade my pally Mark Griffin a fond farewell as he prepares to leave for his tour in Afghanistan.
Sweet Anderson!! No wonder I just wanted to stay in bed this morning. (okay, I’m not really sure how that is different from any other morning, but work with me here.)
So tell me, Internet. What did you do this weekend? Regale me with your tales of awesome and yay!
I’m in a great mood today, even though the odds were totally stacked against me.
Monday’s are always difficult at Chez Francis. I The boys don’t wanna get out of bed and once they’re actually upright, they never wanna get moving.
Today was greeted with an extra special batch of ARE YOU KIDDING ME when my almost 16 year old started harrassing my almost 12 year old for the 10 bucks he charged his brother to play with his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Seriously, d00d? You’re damn near 16. Stop being such a grade A butthead. You haven’t messed with those cards in 2 years and the only reason you’re being a tool about it now is because your little brother wants them.
Yes, I just called my kid a tool. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him, just means he’s a teenager and frankly, they’re all tools at one point or another.
Still, I feel great today. I’m in a good place mentally (though I’ve slacked off on my exercise lately and I’m starting to feel it) and even though Christmas really isn’t my favorite time of year (long story) I’m beginning to feel a slight tingle of holiday spirit. Not sure I’m tingly enough to listen to Christmas music, but maybe that’s not too far away.
I wrote a little bit this weekend on a new series proposal that I’m actually really excited about. Did some plotting with the Amazing Tia Maria last night and she helped me figure out why I was stuck. Now I can unstick myself and move forward.
We had another movie day yesterday. Watched The Proposal and Doubt. Completely different movies, but very good. I actually enjoyed The Proposal more than I thought I would, BUT they missed some really good opportunities to increase the sexual tension and the love story. However, I laughed out loud several times and got to look at Ryan Reynolds for two hours. All in all I would call it a WIN.
I’m ready to watch Love Actually which is one of my favorite movies of all time. And just because I’m in a great mood, I’m going to link my favorite scene from that movie.
“Enough. Enough now.”
I didn’t give birth to girls for several reasons. I’m quite sure that Fate knew what the hell she was doing when she kept me from mothering the female gender. You would think that because I’m an awesome female that would automatically make me an awesome mother to a female. Well if that’s what you think, your thinking is flawed.
8 Reasons Mel Did Not Give Birth to Girls:
I’m sure I could go on, but these are just a few reasons why Fate was smart enough to give me dirty, rotten, stinky (very stinky), unkempt, lizard-huntin’ boys.
Please enjoy the Mandolin Rain video…(seriously, I’m kinda back on the it would make a great name bandwagon!)
Bitchin' Fiction: Musings by author Melissa McKenzie / Melissa Francis 