I’ve got chills…that are multiplyin’

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And I’m looooooosing control….

Oh. Sorry. I just got caught up in a Grease moment there.

So, I’ve been down for the count the last 48 hours. Actually a bit longer than that. I knew something wasn’t right when I made this fantastic Mediterranean Pasta on Tuesday night and only ate 2 bites before I felt “full.” I had 2 glasses of wine, but they kinda tasted funny, so I poured out half of my last glass and then I fell asleep on the couch…before 8:00. 

The next morning I woke and told Jefe I felt funny–like my dinner didn’t digest.

And low and behold, it had not digested.

I’ll spare you the gory details. Suffice it to say, there was a virus, I had it, and I spent 36 hours trying to get warm. My fever finally broke in the wee hours of the morning yesterday and I slept most of 48 hours away.

My mommy brought me some real cokes. You know, the fully-leaded-with-sugar kind? The ones I never drink ever? OMG. They were like little sips of heaven. Or gulps of heaven. Whatever. I had to be careful though…if I drank them too fast, there would be horrific repercussions. Terrible.

I’m back at work today, feeling weak, but happy to be vertical. I miss my kiddos. I banished them from the house while I was contagious. There’s no need to spread the ugly any further than our home. I have a feeling when I get finished with work on Saturday, I’ll be cloroxing the hell out of the compound.

Anything fun going on in your world? Did you guys get Bieber Fever in Little Rock last night? I heard the concert was fantastic, even for those poor parents who were forced to go. That’s what happened when fishdog and I took Ian to see N Sync in 2001. We were dreading the boy band invasion and wound up being completely impressed with the show. Maybe we were even fans afterward…Maybe. I’m glad the concert was a great experience for y’all. If you have to suffer through the squealing of thousands of teenage girls, at least you should enjoy show.

Have a great weekend, folks. Strive for sparkle!

It’s that time again!

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So while everyone was wasting their time, watching the Alabama game…(seriously, did anyone think that Notre Dame even stood a chance?) I was watching The Bachelor. And my recap is posted for your reading pleasure.

(BTW, I did not root for Alabama. I don’t like them and I can’T root for them just because they’re SEC. I also don’t like Notre Dame, so I didn’t root for anyone. Well, that’s not true. I sorta rooted for a meteor to fall from the sky and land on the stadium…)

Looks like this season of Bachelor is going to be full of more insecure crazy bitches. It’s like they’ve never watched the show before. Where do they find these women?

I’m sorry girls, but being insecure isn’t sexy. Sure, we all have those moments, but when you’re threatened by another woman because they got the first rose, or they got a hug, or they have a nicer rack than you, then all you’re doing is making yourself look sad. ON NATIONAL TV. And your snide, petty, catty remarks, even under your breath, show who you really are…and now we all know.

Of course, it would make for boring TV if they didn’t have the crazies…and let’s face it, real life is full of crazies, too…so I suppose they fit on “Reality TV”.

I went to the gym yesterday. I felt great when finished. I’m heading at lunch again today. I am happy to report that 5 weeks off of bootycamp did not hurt me too badly.

You know, I never worry that much about my weight. Sure, I wanna lose weight so I can be healthier, but I don’t worry about my size.  Sexy is a state of mind. It’s an attitude. And honey, I’m a force to be reckoned with! Yesterday, I was heading back to my office from the gym and a man stopped me to tell me that he always loves seeing me on campus. He said “Your hair catches my eye, but your beautiful smile is what I enjoy seeing the most.” And then he called me lovely. AND I WAS IN GYM CLOTHES AND SWEATING.

Trust me. I didn’t stop smiling all day after that. Feeling good about yourself is always good, but hearing it…especially from an unexpected source like that, is the bombdiggity.

Smile! It keeps you young and makes you feel beautiful!

7 weeks and counting down…

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The Little Rock Half-Marathon is in 7 weeks.

Probably I should get off my arse and get busy, huh?

It’ll be a good time. I can’t wait. I gotta order my awesome tights for the marathon. I’m thinking either  Pink Tiger (rowr!) or Tye-Dye Skulls….

Either way, I’ll be awesome.

Speaking of me being awesome, check out my new boots:

These were my Christmas gift from the boys this year. Aren’t they fantabulous?

Let’s see, what else is going on? Nothing but smiles over here. It’s such an amazing feeling when you release the negatives from your life. Too many people need to stir up trouble to make themselves feel better. I used to let that bother me. Now, I just let that bother them. It’s kinda freeing.

 I missed Rader this weekend (even though I would have sworn to Pete that I was ready for a break from his chatty-Cathy self). I really enjoy hanging out with my kids. They make me laugh so much. Good thing he’ll be back tonight for non-stop entertainment!

Hope your weekend was a lovely as mine. Sparkle on, my friends!

now what?

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So, Ian had 5 teeth removed yesterday. He didn’t feel great last night. Had a long night, but the meds helped. He was fun to watch, I’m not gonna lie.

He ate Ramen for breakfast today, and seems happy. Looks like life is getting back to normal.

Since I’m home today, I am in charge of deChristmasing the house. I really don’t want to…mainly because I hate packing the holiday up. However, this house is tiny, and we need every ounce of space available. So we say goodbye to the Pimp Tree and the Flamingo tree and all the other holiday awesome in this place.

I’m heading to the gym today, too. Remember how I was doing bootycamp and loving it, but I had this awful elbow pain? Guess who has tennis elbow and hasn’t played tennis since college? Yes. Me. Ugh. And let me tell you, that shit is painful. They should call it something like JACKHAMMERING RAILROAD SPIKES ELBOW.  Tennis elbow sounds so benign. I can’t even squeeze a tube of toothpaste with my left hand without wincing in pain. WTF?

I have an appointment with a chiropractor next week and have high hopes we’ll be able to realign my cranky neck and shoulders and fix this freaking messed up tendon and muscle situation. I have plans to rejoin bootycamp in February, and have the half-marathon in March..so here goes nothing. At least I can walk/run without worrying about the elbow. I just can’t weight train right now.

Now what? It’s 2013. Jefe and I are both working. The kids are happy. We’re happy. Life is good. Now let’s just get my elbow fixed so I can squeeze the toothpaste and open the car door again.

2013: Day the 3rd

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I kinda like this and will work on applying it to my life. Especially #5. Haha. I think WAY too much. I need medication to help me think less. I think the one I’ve heard the most about is called cannabis, sadly it’s not legal here. hahahaha

How was your New Year? Mine was absolutely wonderful. There was lots of laughter, champagne, and more laughter. My kid and my Domestic Partner crack me up. (yes, I’ve decided to call Jefe my DP from now on. It’s awesome.)

We had a FRINGE marathon New Year’s Day. I got to start the show from the beginning and now I’m hooked. Two things I’ve taken from this show that are awesome:

“Excellent! Now let’s go make some LSD!”

“Peter. This is me, Walter Bishop. Your father.”

From now on when I call Jefe, this is how it’s gonna go. “Jeffery. This is me, Melissa Francis. Your domestic partner.”

I may have to call him every single day just to say that. And of course, when the conversation is over, I will be sure to mention making LSD.

Wow. I’ve mentioned 2 illegal drugs in this blog…that has to be a first. Whatever will you think of me? What do I care? It’s funny.

Ian is having his wisdom teeth removed today, so I’ll be at home this afternoon to take care of him. My mother-in-law had surgery last week, and I’m taking her and Poppy some soup at lunch. I gotta take care of the people I love, doncha know?

Okay folks, any resolutions this year? Any revolutions this year? Or revelations?

*chin fist* tell me about them…

2012 Day the Last

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This has been a helluva year. Before I recap the good and the bad, let me share my holiday break with you…

Christmas day… We had a great holiday. The boys arrived home from their dad’s around noon. We opened gifts, enjoyed the day…then headed to nonnie’s house for Chili and more gifts.

My niece, Double A, tried to steal my sparkle! Can you believe that?

 All the boys (including El Jefe) received Wife Beaters in their stockings… Yes, we were dreaming of a white trash Christmas…

 Next year’s Christmas card, maybe?

I’m not sure which Rader liked more, his iPhone or his Hulk Hands. haha.

Christmas night, the sleet an snow came down with a vengeance. We lost several trees and the eerie sound of limbs crashing to the ground all night was really creepy. It was beautiful, but I was over it after about 15 hours.  18 of those we were without power, and we were very lucky. The boys’ dad was without power from Tuesday – Sunday. No thank you.

Now…let’s talk about 2012 and why I’m glad it’s over…

What I loved about the year:

  1. My friends. The people who love me and care about me no matter what. They have supported me through a very tough time. They knew I was trying to hold it together, and when I pulled away, they pulled me back. I am very lucky. So very lucky to have them in my life. 
  2. My love. We have been through a very rough year financially. It could have killed our relationship, but we are stronger than ever. And 2013 is looking fantastic. I’m very lucky to have this man in my life.
  3. My boys. I’ve never been closer to them. They are the one thing I’ve done right in my life. Maybe even the only thing.  I am so proud of the young men they are becoming. And I can’t wait to see what 2013 brings to them.

Why I’m ready to kick the door closed on 2012:

  1. Being a one income family. It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t fun. I fought depression…I adopted the mantra “Fake it til you make it” and I’m ready to stop faking it. I don’t do fake very well. 
  2. My health.  I had complications from a procedure last February that lasted all year. We finally figured the problem out in October, and it looks like it’s finally getting better. Of course, as a result of this issue, I’ve gained weight. I’ve been sad. I’ve stopped exercising. That is all changing. 
  3. Loss. I’ve lost friends this year. I have always been the one who reaches out to people. I’m the fun one, the sparkler, bright and shiny and happy. And for a few months last year, I couldn’t be that person anymore. And the people who know me and want me in their life reached out to me. And there are a few who didn’t. Who took my absence as a reflection on them not on me. And I’m so sad. I miss them terribly, but I was trying to patch my life together and I didn’t have the energy or the life left to reach out and mend the tatters. I just couldn’t do it. Maybe this year I’ll find the strength to recover the loss, because I do feel the emptiness without them in my life.

2013 is looking bright. We are a double income family again. We are lucky to have the support of our family and friends. And I’m very much looking forward to what this year has to offer. Bring 13. Bring it hard.

Sparkle on, my pretties. Have a fantastic New Year’s Eve and please be safe. If it doesn’t rain, I plan on lighting up the firepit and ringing in 2013 with my family. It’s gonna be a good night. Cheers!

Just in case today is the last day on earth…

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DON’T FORGET TO SPARKLE!

I am on holiday as of noon today…I may or may not be around for a couple of weeks. We’ll see. Maybe I will pop in and share some love every once in a while…I know you’ll miss me…and I certainly don’t want you to feel sad or lonely.

Happy holidays everyone! I hope whatever you celebrate is wonderful and memorable.

Ruby Doobie-Doo Update and holiday stuff

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Check out the pitiful baby. Doesn’t that face just make you wanna cry?

Nothing is broken. However, Ruby sustained some neurological damage that should only be temporary, however it could take a couple of months to heal. That’s why her tail hangs limp and she’s walking like she took some Vicodin and chased it with Vodka for breakfast. She finally took her medicine from El Jefe this morning…she turned her nose up at the cheese offering from me… Which tells me she’s very pissed off at me. Like I was the one who put her on the side of the road and then drove the car that clipped her.

Anyway, it looks like she’s gonna be all right. If she starts to show signs of decline, they’ll introduce some steroids into her system to help speed up the healing. There is a very slim chance she may not improve or will get worse…but right now, it does not appear I can start calling her Wheels. (I may or may not have been practicing getting her used to her possible new nickname)

In Holiday news, I look like the ghost of snowflakes threw up on me today. I can not even look at myself today, this holiday swag is so ugly. It’s horrifying.

Tomorrow’s outfit is gonna be amazing. Let me just tell you…AMAZING. (amazingly horrid…)

Also….if you see my brother, please tell him the lights on this tree need to be taken down immediately. Otherwise, I’m gonna stick a drunken Santa with a box of White Zin under the tree…to finish off the look…

Sad News, Happy News

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Last night, Ruby went missing for over an hour. We let her out with Trin-Trin like we always do. She didn’t come back after about 20 minutes, which is unusual, so we started to look for her. We searched 3 different properties that are attached and cover more than 10 acres. We searched across the street, even though she has never ventured across the street before. Nothing.

Finally, after more than an hour, I looked in a different ditch across the street, and there she was. Shivering and weak. I picked her up and there was no yelping, so I didn’t think she got hit. She had a scraped bottom lip that was bleeding, and that seemed to be the extent of her injuries.

We thought she may have gotten scared by a car and fell down the ditch and then was just too cold to move.

However, once she warmed up, we discovered her sweet little pug tail was broken. Hanging limp as a noodle. And she was having a real difficult time with her back legs. She’s at the vet now and we are waiting to hear what’s going on. Poor Ruby-Doobie-Doo. It looks like she was definitely clipped by a car. So we wait.

We’re all pulling for you Rubes.

Now, in happier news…

Remember how I sold German Rights to BITE ME?

Well, we can add LOVE SUCKS! to that mix now! That’s right! Lovely Agent emailed me this morning and said CORA wanted to buy the rights to LOVE SUCKS! Yippee!!

An Official Declaration

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Happy Ugly Christmas Sweater Week!

There. I’ve said it. Now, make it so.

See? Even Matt Damon is playing along.

Today I’m wearing a vest. It’s not the ugliest of sweaters in the world..but it’s still a Christmas VEST…and so the only way to look cool while wearing it is to wear it ironically. So I am. And therefore, this Ugly Vest is cool…like me.

Hope you guys had a great weekend. I did. I worked a lot, got to see my sweet friend Marcus who was in town from Paris (Yes, France). I didn’t get to attend his gathering when he first arrived, so I was thrilled when I was able to leave work early enough to see him last night before he headed back. He’s so sassy and awesome. I lurve him.

Now…you guys celebrate Ugly Sweater week with me. I wanna hear about or see your ugly sweaters. Hmmmm. What will I wear tomorrow?