Author Archives: Just Call Me Mel

how did I miss NATIONAL WAFFLE DAY?

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Yesterday was National Waffle Day. Yes, we here in America, celebrate he anniversary of the first U.S. patent for a waffle iron. Which is The Awesome if you ask me.

(the only thing missing from this picture is bacon. Hmmm, wonder when National Bacon Day is, cuz you know there is one. BRB. I’m checking that now… )

[insert musak while you wait]

and I’m back.

From Wikipedia: International Bacon Day or Bacon Day is an unofficial observance, often celebrated on the Saturday before US Labor Day (the first Monday of September). If I found it on Wikipedia, you know it’s true…

Wait. I was just totally lured away from the Waffle by Bacon. Bacon is a naughty meat and should be punished by me eating it. Come here Bacon…

ANYWAY, I love National Waffle Day and I’m sad I missed it, so tonight, I will be celebrating with my kids by making waffles for dinner(with a side of yummy bacon to punish it for being so tempting).

Here’s some waffle trivia for your reading pleasure. (Everyone wants to learn more about waffles)

  • The ice cream cone was invented at the St. Louis World’s Fair in 1904 when an ice cream vendor ran out of cups and asked a waffle vendor to help by rolling up waffles to hold ice cream.
  • The first Waffle House restaurant opened on Labor Day in 1955 in Avondale Estates, GA.
  • Each year Waffle House customers eat more than 334,000 pounds of pecans in their waffles. That is more than 21 million pecans. Visit WaffleHouse.com for more fun facts.
  • 13th Century A.C. – Ancient Greeks cook flat cakes between two metal plates. These early waffles were called obleios and were primarily savory in nature, prepared with cheeses and herbs.
  • 1620 – The pilgrims bring Dutch “wafles” to America.
  • 1735 – The word “waffle” – with two “f”s – appears in English print for the first time.
  • Late 1800’s – Thomas Jefferson returns to the U.S. from France with a long handled, patterned waffle iron.
  • 1869 – Cornelius Swarthout patents the first U.S. Waffle Iron.
  • 1953 – Frank Dorsa’s Eggo Frozen Waffles are sold in Supermarkets for the first time.
  • 1964-65 – Brussels restaurateur Maurice Vermersch brings his wife’s Brussels Waffle recipe to the World’s Fair in New York. The fluffy yeast-infused waffle becomes a huge hit and becomes known as the Belgium waffle.

Now you know…and knowing is half the battle!

Foozball is (not) the DEBIL

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First of all, WATERBOY is one of the bestest movies ever. If you disagree, then why do you even read my blog because it’s obvious you don’t get “me.” LOL

Rader has a football jamboree tonight. They are playing two different teams, 10 plays each game. It’s not a ‘real’ game per se, but it will be good practice. I’m stoked. Last year my Tuesday nights were filled with trivia and Touchdown Sally’s. This year, they’ll be filled with football.

His position has changed some since my last post. It seems that he is well suited to play left offensive tackle and he’ll be the back up center. He’s stoked because he’s starting offense. I’m stoked because he’s playing football. LOL Unlike Bobby Boucher’s momma, I don’t think Foosball is the Debil!

my new hero

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Mimi Rosenthall is 101 years old and she just got her 3rd tattoo. She was 99 years old when she received her first one…And I thought waiting til 40 was a long time!!

You go, Mimi! Rock that Art, sistah!

I’m thinking maybe it’s time for my next one…I want a 4-leaf clover, I’m just not sure WHERE I want it. Probably on my foot. Yes, I know, it’s gonna hurt. Whatever. I can live with the pain. I mean, I fell asleep the last time!

Dear Friday. Thank you for getting here. Love Melf.

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Seriously. I’m so ready for this damn week to be over. And I apologize for all the kevetching I’ve done this week. It’s not like me, I know. Usually I’m all sunshine and butterflies (and sparkles, OH MY!) but I just haven’t had it in me all week long. I’m Mrs. CrabbyPants. Or Mrs. CrankyPants. Or Mrs. BitchyPants. Whatever. *grumblehissgrumblehiss*

I baked my first pie in my lovely gas oven last night. Baking is an art and usually I create beautifully baked art. And last night’s pie…looked beautiful. And it tasted wonderful. BUT the bottom crust didn’t cook all the way through and my apple filling was runnier than usual. It was an off night for the pie queen.

But I look really cute in an apron, don’t you think?

Okay, so next week will be better. I will do my best to take my bitchy britches off and burn them. I don’t like it when I feel cranky all the time. It’s just not natural to me! I like being fun, flirty, and full of sparkle. So you better put on your shades next week cuz I’m bringing sparkle back…

I’m late. Deal with it.

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If you haven’t figured it out yet, this has been a craptastic week, overflowing with craptastic goodies. BUT things are changing. Yep. They’re coming around to the good side again, I can feel it.

First of all, my darling Mac isn’t dead. Fishdog worked his Apple Magic on her, and she seems to be in fine working order again. I was afeared we had a fried hard drive, but according to all the tests, she seems to be A OKay. Must’ve been a corrupted file just messing with her goodness.

Secondly, I snuck in a drink last night with my BFF Jenn Christman. We only had 1 hour but we took full advantage of that hour with a margarita and lots of gossip. She got hair extensions and looks 10 years younger and now I’m thinking that maybe I need to invest in some of those…

THEN I hung out with the eldest last night. Was fun. He’s a hoot. Makes me laugh and we shared Double Stuf Oreos. And you know if Double Stuf Oreos are involved, it’s a good time.

Today I had lunch with my pal Laura at Cheers in the Heights. Adolfo took very good care of us, as usual.

And tonight…I’m making apple pie. I’m also planning on sparkling while I wear my flamingo apron. Maybe I’ll conjure up Matt Damon while I’m at it…

See? All is well.

What you guys got going on? Anything fun or exciting?

what a girl DOESN’T want to come home to find

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This is my baby, Mac. She apparently isn’t feeling well. And it must be contagious because I’m not feeling well now, too. Sigh.
No, this is not what a girl wants to come home to find. I’m going to make a list of things that I would much rather come home to, and maybe tonight when I get home, one (or more of them) will be there.
  • Matt Damon in my bed
  • Matt Damon naked vaccumming my house
  • Anyone vaccumming my house fully clothed
  • A chilled (bottomless) bottle of wine in the hand of my cabana boy as I walk in the door to my already cleaned house.
  • A million dollars and Matt Damon lying naked in the middle of it.
  • A million dollars (Matt Damon optional)
  • A brand new swimming oasis in my backyard with an oasis house and cabana boy.
  • A disco ball hanging from my living room and the Geico Gecko waiting to dance. Or Matt Damon.
  • A fully cooked meal served to me by Matt Damon wearing my Flamingo apron in my already clean house.
  • A computer that works…sitting on Matt Damon’s lap.

Yeah, I’m thinking anything on this list would be much more fun to come home to find. Don’t you agree?

stuff and such and a giveaway!

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More great reviews for LOVE SUCKS! and also a give away…

Book Chic

Book Scout <=== pop over and comment on the review and you'll be entered in the drawing to win a signed copy of LOVE SUCKS!

So, onto the “stuff and such” portion of today’s blog.

Have you ever had one of those days where you just wanted a do over? Yesterday started out fine. I was in a great mood. Had a great Sunday night. Other than being a little sleepy, I almost actually looking forward to the day ahead.

And then *it* happened.

I’m not exactly sure what *it* is, but I know that suddenly, the day just seemed to take a big ol’ dump on me. Somehow, someway, for some reason my good day turned to poo so by the time the boys and I got home, I was Mrs. Crankypants.

Now, I don’t know about you, but when Mrs. Crankypants takes over, things don’t ever seem to improve. I try to make Mrs. Cp go away, but she doesn’t. And then the boys start bickering and smart off to me, and then Ruby the Pug and Clementine the Tart get into it like cartoon cats and dogs, and then my full glass of wine (KIM CATTRAL CRAWFORD wine at that!) got knocked to floor…and shattered. And I still had to do dishes and get laundry going.

Thankfully, I had an unopened bottle of wine. I did my chores, poured me a lovely glass, and sat down to chill. Then I kicked Rader’s tail at some Uno while we watched LIE TO ME. (then he kicked mine, then I kicked his, then he kicked mine. We quit while we were Even)

I went to bed and slept like the dead. And this morning, I saw a beautiful sunrise while driving Rader to football practice. Today is gonna be a good day. I think I’ll have an Atomic Fireball to celebrate…

oh yeah I like it like that

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Spent Saturday with Birdrunner soaking up the sun, her company, and several adult beverages. We read the Chuck Norris vs. Mr. T. book and laughed our collective booties off. We listened to music that drove her 10 year old daughter nuts and gossiped about red heads, men, and the kids. On the PSI scale, it was a 10 day for sure!

Yesterday was a day of cleaning and reconnecting. I needed the down time. I ‘ve been swamped these past few weeks–just going non-stop. And my house and my body were suffering for it! I still need to do laundry, but I did manage to get rid of the clutter that had taken over my tee-tiny living room. I also managed to get a nap in…which is always a good thing!

Now for the entertainment portion of today’s blog:

Mr. T puts the laughter in manslaughter.

Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain.

Despite popular belief, if there is a fool in the woods, and nobody is around to hear his jibba jabba, Mr. T is still able to pity him.

Chuck Norris was cast as the protagonist in Terminator, but he later bowed out of the role, since he has already stopped a time war between machines and mankind. Twice.

There is nothing to fear but fear itself, and fear itself fears Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

Oh and happy or sad Elvis “Death” Day (I used quotes because you know he’s really not dead. Right?) Here’s my favorite E song. Long live the King.

hello weekend. my how I’ve missed you.

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Weekend plans = cleaning, rearranging some furniture, watching a movie or two, and hanging out with Birdrunner by her pool…there will possibly be some Beer-Rita consumption going on…possibly.

I’ve been missing Birdrunner. She’s accused me of moving to Saline county and abandoning her. This is completely untrue. It’s just that I’ve switched where I get my pedicures and I haven’t been able to go with her in a while. BUT I’m thinking maybe I can convince her to come along with me next time and meet Lola the Toe Girl. She’s pretty amazing.

The boys are going to the lake on Saturday with their daddy and some other friends. It sounds like a good time will be had by all. I am seriously looking forward to some down time. I’ve been going nonstop for 3 or more weeks, and it’s time for a break.

Plus, I’ve been plotting my new books and now it’s time to start tweaking the synopsis and writing! I’m actually eager to start writing…but it’s a super sekrit story. I will say it involves a mean step mother, lizards, faeiries and a parallel universe… oh and there’s royalty and a sorceror and some speedy guardian turtles. Or maybe I’m making all that up. OH wait! That’s what I do! Make stuff up!

Stay tuned!

Okay, here’s this week’s random iPhone picture. I figure it’s appropriate since I’ll be at the pool tommorrow!

oh SNAP!

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Rader was told this week he will be the Center on the football team. (see the purple C? that’s my boy) He’s the dude who snaps the ball to the quarterback then does everything to stop the defense from getting through to the QB. As Ozzie Newsome says (Baltimore Ravens GM) “You need to have somebody who can neutralize that nose tackle. If you don’t, everything can get screwed up. Your running game won’t be effective and you’ll also have somebody in your quarterback’s face on every play.”

So instead of the Bend and Snap…my son will be doing the Snap and Block. I think it works, don’t you?

The coach is also talking to him about being on the Defensive Line as well. He’s pretty stoked about all this tackling stuff. I asked him why he didn’t wanna play a receiver and his answer was something like this: “Mom, I can snap the ball better than anyone on the team. I can block. But I can’t catch the ball to save my life.”

Which reminded me of a scene from one of my favorite movies of all time: The Replacements